What is your opinion about this lady, the wife of Job? To your mind, is she a shrew – a woman with a violent, scolding, nagging personality? Perhaps you picture her as an agnostic; a spiritual fool. Has she been a professing Christian, but a closet unbeliever, all during her marriage? Is she more like Judas than Andrew or John? Now when the world is falling down around her, does she spit in the face of God and man? What sort of person is this woman?
How often do you jump to conclusions about people? I think that we all do, but the question is – how often? And a corollary might be – when you jump is it to the right or to the left? When you jump to a conclusion is it more often negative than positive? Let’s say here is a person of a different faith – he is a Presbyterian. Is it possible that he is closer to Christ than you are? And here is another man with long, unkempt hair; what about his salvation? A woman comes to church and she doesn’t own a skirt or dress; is she heathen? How quickly do you jump to conclusions about people, and in what direction do you go?
I’ve heard messages on Lot’s wife, Ahab’s wife, Abraham’s wives and David’s. But I’ve never been in a church service listening to a message on this lady. I’ve read these verses many times, and based upon the condition my own heart I’ve formed my opinions. But, may I suggest that we will never know this lady until we’ve worn her shoes? What do we know about Mrs. Job?
We know that she was a wife and mother.
Feminists not withstanding, there are differences between the genders. I realize that this next thought is a generalization, for which there are hundreds of exceptions. But men, as a rule, are physically stronger than women – stronger in most of their muscles. On the other hand, there are other areas where ladies are stronger than we are – or I am. For example, is it weakness or strength to be able to weep? I am not a good crier, but sometimes people who are grieving could use someone who can cry with them. Emotions and affections are related, but they are not necessarily the same thing. The person who is emotional, is not necessarily affectionate, and vise versa. There are things that I love very deeply, but there aren’t nearly as many as what my wife loves. Judy is stronger in that department than I am. For example, she has house plants which she has nursed for years, and she cares for them far more than I do. In some cases she would be quite sad if they died.
Let’s say that Job was like me, and Mrs. Job was like my Judy. Or we could put that into any of the couples in our church. When Job lost every shred of his wealth, how did it affect him? It wasn’t exactly, “easy come, easy go,” but it was somewhat related. How would that sort of thing have affected you husbands? Now, how would it have affected you wives? How did it affect Mrs. Job? The same as her husband, less or more? I think that the effect was probably far more severe.
When Job’s children died, I’m sure that his heart was broken. Undoubtedly it probably felt like the hand of God was squeezing his heart into suffocation. He might have wondered if there was some terrible sin involved, which brought about judgment. He might have blamed himself for not offering up more sacrifices for his children. He might have blamed himself for not being there with them in the house. Undoubtedly Job was devastated by the loss of his sons and daughters. But I guarantee that Mrs. Job felt the pain of that loss in ways differently than her husband. Most of the time, we forget that Mrs. Job was being tested just as much as her husband was. Mrs. Job was a mother – these children were conceived in her womb. She carried them, nursed them, and stayed awake nights fighting their fevers and their nightmares. There is a special bond between mothers and children, which is different between fathers and children. Am I wrong in thinking that Mrs. Job felt the loss of her children more severely than did her husband? Don’t wives need and/or miss the security of a house – more than husbands do? Don’t mothers love their children more intensely than their spouses? Sure she reacted differently than her husband, but that was because they were different people? If the same things happened within your family would all of you react the same way?
This woman was also a wife, as well as a mother. Was Job a man easy to love, or did he have habits and traits which offended most people? Let’s say that theirs was an arranged marriage – they weren’t in love when they first married years ago. The question is – did she grow to love her man? Judging from this book would you say that Job was a hard man or affectionate? Was he intolerant of people’s mistakes? Was he giving? Spiritual? Kind? Or was he the notable sinner than his “counselors” later try to declare? When this lady said, “Curse God and die,” how did Job respond? From Job’s reply would you say that he viciously attacked her error? I picture him correcting her, but in a very kind fashion, under the circumstances. So his reply leads me to think that he really WAS a good man. The statements about his character made earlier were accurate, but was that enough for her in her needs?
Is it possible that what this lady said, might have come out of love for her husband? Perhaps it was unwise and ungodly, but what she said may have come out of a broken heart – not an evil and wicked heart. In other words, when she uttered that infamous statement, it may not have been spoken in some sort fury. She certainly wasn’t blaming Job for anything. Out of her love for Job, she may have been hoping perhaps that his misery might be brought to an end.
But obviously, there is no way of knowing for sure what she actually intended. The word “curse” is the Hebrew “barak” and four times is translated “curse.” But “barak” is translated “to bless, salute or praise” – two hundred and eleven times. For every time its translated “to curse” its translated to “bless” – fifty times. In this way it is similar to the word “cherem” which is translated either “accursed” or “devoted.” Without suggesting that our King James Bible is wrong, quite literally, this lady could have been saying, “Bless God and die.” Only by Job’s reaction do we have any insight into her intent with those words. But in all his pain, did he fully understand what his wife was saying? We have to assume that he did.
In any case, have we been guilty of jumping to conclusions about this lady?
But now the words have been spoken, and we are witnesses, so what should WE DO?
Let’s say that we have run into a Mrs. Job among our friends or she’s one of our relatives. How do we respond to blunt, possible, vengeful language like this? First, we must understand that the fire which is fueling this utterance is pain, not spirituality or logic. But even if the words were meant only in the best possible way, they are still not Christian. Put her in a white uniform with a funny hat in her hair, and you might call her Nurse Kavorkian. Kavorkian, of course, was that physician a few years ago, who was helping people to die. But let us not forget that the keys of death hang on the belt of the Saviour – not any one of us. The Hemlock Society should be renamed the Wormwood Society, because it is of Satan. It is our job to fight death as best we can, but then when it comes, to accept it as the will of God. Even if Job had cursed God, I doubt that the Lord would have permitted his death at this point.
How should we respond to language like this? We note that Job didn’t jump down her throat for saying something so unseemly. Nor does he call her a “fool.” He said that her words were the sort of thing that the fools might say. He suggests that these words were out of character to her. From this we might learn that our reply should respond to the character of the speaker, not the character of the circumstances. If the person who says such things is a Christian: love her as a Christian who has slipped under pressure. Again, “there, but for the grace of God, go I.” This lady might have needed someone to cry with her, but apparently Job was not the crying sort. She might needed someone to hold her and hug her, but the boils covering his body prevented Job. Even though you might feel like slapping some sense into the woman, could you hold back your own emotions and try to pull her through hers?
How should we respond to the Mrs. Jobs of this world? Where possible, we should try to show them that the Lord knows what is best. That is precisely how Job tried to reply: “What? Shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil?” Is she a saint of God? Then see if she understands that “all things work together for good to them that love God….” Remember that God’s apparent anger, “endureth but a moment,” and “in His favor is life.” “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” Yes, the night may be much longer than twelve hours, but for the Christian it will end in the dawn. “And when thou passest through the waters, Lord will be with thee; and thru the rivers, they shall not overflow thee, when thou walkest thru the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.” “Our light affliction, which is but moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.”
But what if the lady is not a Christian? Then try to point her toward Calvary, where both the Father and the Son suffered so very, very much. They know what it is to hurt. If she takes no interest in the Cross, there is very little that we can do except to weep with her. Where can we go for comfort if we have no access to the God of all Comfort?
My point is – don’t be too hard on Mrs. Job, at least until you’ve done all that you can to be a blessing.