There are two adjectives used in these scriptures used to describe love: “inordinate” and “unnatural.” As much as the world wants to tell us that love is the panacea for all our problems, it isn’t. In fact, love can be the cause of a great many of our problems. Colossians 3:5 tells the child of God to kill, murder, or otherwise “mortify” his inordinate affections. That word “inordinate” is the Greek word “pathos,” and it is found three times in our Bibles. Once it is translated simply “affection,” then here it is “inordinate affection” and once it is “lust.” Obviously, not all “affection” is good. Many people have great affection things which are actually poison – like alcohol and drugs. “Inordinate affection” must be killed, because it is in a war against us, with a desire to kill us. It is a virus, a cancer which is bent upon destruction. Remember I Peter 2:11 – “Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly LUSTS, which war against the soul.” Then Romans 1:31 speaks of people “without natural affection” and it is clearly defined in the context. There is a great deal of affection which is contrary to God’s original intent for us.

Although it is not automatic, love is a natural thing; it is normal for people to love. And almost everybody loves something. Hopefully it is a good person, or, even better, the Lord. But sadly, that natural love is often placed on unnatural things. And then in that case that natural love becomes “inordinate” and “unnatural.” For example, it is possible to love a pet more than one’s own spouse. And there are thousands of people who love their cars more than their kids. Millions love other people’s mates more than their own. These are inordinate affections, prompted by Satan to ruin people and their families. Then beyond that, love can become inordinate in the way that it is expressed, or what it produces.

This brings up the title of our message tonight: “Love gone bad.” Usually when people hear words like that they picture Hollywood or they are listening to Nashville. A man fell in love with a beautiful woman, but then he fell out of love – their “love went bad.” So he killed her with his 9 iron, his chain saw, or his hockey stick. If he didn’t do that, then he started drinking Margaritas; or riding Brahma bulls. These may indeed be illustrations of love gone bad, but more probably it is “bad love gone worse.” These things are often IN-ordinate affection which has gone it’s ORDINARY way. So much of TV and the movies is nothing but a glorification of what sin always does. There is nothing new about that: Inordinate affection destroys people. That is not news.

This evening, I’d like you to remind you of some of the WAYS and REASONS why love goes bad.

Love usually goes bad when it begins with THE WRONG DEFINITION.

Very rarely does Hollywood ever define love properly. Sex, lust, and physical attraction are not LOVE – they are “sex,” “lust” and “physical attraction.” I think that any poison ought to be labeled “poison” – sin is “sin;” disaster is “disaster.” Love cannot be found in the backseat of a car, or in a semi-deserted park. Love isn’t bells ringing in somebody’s ears; it isn’t butterflies fluttering in the tummy. It might be a bee in one’s bonnet, but doesn’t have to be. Love is not holding hands, but rather a holding of hearts. And love rarely comes at first sight as the romance novels portray. Someone has said that “love at first sight usually means divorce at first slight.”

Some people have the idea that love is an EMOTIONAL attraction. If this is “the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth” then we are all in trouble. A man who walks past a gun shop – or an auto dealer – may have an attack of emotional attraction. “This truck will bring out your best;” “Think adventure you’ll have;” “Look at the styling,” etc, etc. But a few years down road, that truck will be a pile of dents and rust. We need more than emotional attraction to things, especially when it comes to people. People rust out too.

What is love? It is more easily demonstrated than defined; love does things. It sacrifices, gives, and suffers vicariously as was illustrated by our Lord Jesus. Love involves sharing, but not just the sharing of things – of entire lives. It is an amazing glue that unbreakably cements friends together despite all of life’s difficulties. It is a fabric which never fades, no matter how often it is washed and scrubbed with adversity. Love remembers many things, but forgets multitudes more. Love does things, but it doesn’t demand things.

Make sure that you don’t confuse love with other kinds affection, or it will surely go bad.

Love-gone-bad usually has THE WRONG ROOTS.

For example, there is the “because” basis. This, again, is too often portrayed in the modern media – books and magazines, etc. Joe loves Jane, because she is so young and beautiful. Jane loves Joe, because he is so rich and handsome. And they love the new car in the dealer’s window, because it looks so cool. But things change over time – teeth, smiles, bank accounts, back accounts, zeal, and muscles. If our love is based on “because,” we are doomed to trouble down the road.

And another false motivation for love is “if.” “If you love, let me do things with you or to you. “If you love me, bring me things, buy me thing, take me places.” “If you love me, do the things to me that I demand.”

“Because” and ”if” are not the roots of solid love; they are the seeds of “inordinate affection.” They are guaranteed to go bad; they are off on the wrong foot. I have never snow skied. If you put me on skiis on top a mountain, I’ll be on my face at the bottom. If your loves stars out with these definitions and bases, you’ll be on your face at end.

Love-gone-bad usually has gone in THE WRONG DIRECTION.

In II Timothy 4 we are told about Demas – whose love had gone sour. “Demas hath forsaken me, having loved this present world, and is departed unto Thessalonica.” Demas had a love that went bad because he substituted the world for the Word of God. We aren’t told, but perhaps he had exchanged inordinate love of gold for his love of God – pleasure for the service of pleading for souls. His direction was toward ease and away from earnestness. His heart was pointed toward rest rather than towards the rescue of the Lost. Why did Demas forsake Paul? Even though he knew that the love of the world is enmity against God, he couldn’t stay away. The Bible says, “Love not the world neither the things that are in the world.” It says, “Set your affection on things above.” That verse comes from the context of Colossians 3:5 which speaks about inordinate affection. Turning from the love of the things of God to love of the world, is love-gone-bad.

We can test our loves by looking at them in the light of eternity. “The world passeth away and the lusts thereof” – I John 2. In other words, any love spent on the things of the world is, relatively speaking, wasted. Do you love sports? TV? Secular reading? Politics? How about stamp collecting or quilting? Are they carried out without thought of the Lord, or for His glory? I suppose that almost anything can be made to become worldly in that sense. Such things are not necessarily sinful, but they live on sin’s western border.

Another love-gone-bad can be found in II Peter 2:15 – love for “the wages of unrighteousness.” Christians, especially, must never forget that “the love of money is root evil.” But in addition to that, we to need remember how the Lord condemned the Pharisees who loved the chief seats and the praise of men – other forms of “the wages of unrighteousness.”

John 3:19 adds another mis-directed love – “Men love darkness rather than light.” As a general rule the lost are more interested in what helps them to sin, than what hinders their sin. A thief may love the thrill of breaking and entering, but he usually doesn’t turn on the house lights when he does.

Even churches have all kinds of worldly and misdirected love. Some of them love structural magnificence – they are temples rather than chapels. In some cases churches love ecclesiastical popularity rather than humble service. Some love numbers, no matter how unscriptural or unspiritual they are. Our love as a church and as individual church members must first be in Christ. The first of all the commandments, as given by the Lord Jesus was – “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.” We must see that our love is of the proper variety.
Finally, in this brief outline – love-gone-bad usually shows itself in THE WRONG EXPRESSION.

Have you ever seen a motherly love express itself in smotherly love? Parents, teachers and pastors often, out of love, can ruin the objects of their love. No one needs all that their little hearts desire. We all must be told, “no!” once in while. Not simply out of principle, but because some things are bad for us, and they must be denied. Love wont permit someone to bless you in your sin. True love refuses, rebukes and restrains.

But love-gone-bad is often expressed in contrary ways. Oh, how often we fundamentalists and conservatives are reminded about love by the liberals. For example, they might say, “If you loved as you should, you’d fellowship with us.” We are told that we lack love, because we refuse open doors of communion to the people of the world. We are told that love is supposed make us accept the sinner as he is. It is supposed to make us silent about the ever growing social sins. We are supposed to welcome false doctrines and heresy. But the Lord hasn’t done that – He has always demanded repentance.

Bad love sometimes tells us to break the laws of man and God in order to prove our love. It says forget the standards of the Bible on morality and separation. Love is supposed keep use from pointing out the truth about our sins. Love is supposed to silence the preacher on anger, greed, envy, and gossip. Bad love may express itself in silence, but true love can’t always do that.

Bad love closes its eyes too much. But proper love is discerning, rejoicing in the truth – I Corinthians 13:6. “Ye that love the Lord, hate evil” – Psalms 97:10.

True love disciplines. Proverbs 13:24 – “He that spareth the rod hateth his son.”

There is a sense in which all love reaches it’s own proper conclusion, just as water reaches own level. Bad love finds more bad love with which to fellowship. Good love seeks for either good love or better love. Christ loved his church, so what did He do? He died for it. Remember Lot’s wife, who loved the things of the world. She died as well.

In conclusion, let me ask you – for what sort of things, principles or people would you die? These are the things that you really love. For what things, ideas, people would you give up your life? These are the things you love.