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I have been trying for weeks to put myself into Judas’ shoes, but it has been without much success. I have tried to reach a reasonable explanation for his betrayal of Christ, but I can only make guesses. And now we come to the aftermath of that betrayal and his return to this wicked employers. “I have sinned in that I have betrayed the innocent blood. And they said, What is that to us? see thou to that.” What was the state of Judas’ mind at that point? Wasn’t he filled with remorse and apparently with regret for what he had done to Jesus? The Lord had never done anything unkind or sinful to him – or to anyone else as far as he knew. And the life which Judas knew for the past 3 years had come to an abrupt end – at his own hands. Perhaps this Jesus really was the expected Messiah, but in his warped theology it appears that Judas had put an end to one of the greatest hopes of Israel. He had nothing to which to look forward. Oh, and being slightly wealthy certainly didn’t fill the void he had created. He “departed and went and hanged himself.”

As most of you know, Peter gives a different account of Judas’ death in Acts 1. “Now this man purchased a field with the reward of iniquity; and falling headlong, he burst asunder in the midst, and all his bowels gushed out.” The differences between the gospels and Acts might be explained in the breaking of the gallows he used. Judas may have hanged himself from a tree overlooking a cliff. When his weight was applied to the branch it broke, and he fell far enough to have been torn apart on the rocks below. Beyond that, some commentators have suggested that it was Satan who ripped open Judas’ bowels in his escape from the body which he possessed. Whether Judas died by hanging and strangulation, or by falling on rocks, his death was due to suicide.

This suicide, and suicide in general needs to be examined for the sake of our own hearts and minds. This is a subject so profound and current that it needs to be lifted from the history of Judas and Jesus. According to the first suicide website to pop up on my computer, suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States. 40,000 Americans kill themselves every year – that is about one every 13 minutes. Those are huge numbers, but they pale before the number of attempts that fail one million a year. Suicide is the second leading cause of death of people between the ages of 10 and 24. And the cost to the American economy is $44 billion in lost wages and medical expenses. Suicide is a major problem in the United States and throughout the world. Most likely almost adult here knows of someone who has successfully taken his own life. And yet for every one who succeeds there are more than ten times as many who are unsuccessful. But there are only five or six suicides recorded in the Word of God. Perhaps that is a reflection of the growing problem that it has become in our godless society.

Suicide may be common and even acceptable in some societies – such as in the doctor assisted variety. But suicide is a huge lie, and people are driven to it by lies – even Judas. Satan, as the father of lies, is at the very heart of the problem – encouraging it. Satan is delighted for people to leave this world just as quickly as possible. If they are lost when they die, they are eternally lost. If they claim to be “Christian” they cast aspersions upon the name of the Lord unlike any other sinner. Suicide is a lie of the Devil and it is encouraged by other lies.

For example, there is the common lie that suicide is an honorable way to leave this world.

As unnatural and wicked as it sounds, we hear more and more often that it is duty of feeble and infirm to get out way of progress. Human beings, like some old run-down buildings, must be torn down to make way for new sky-scrapers. The liberals and humanists today speak of “euthanasia.” The word comes out of the Greek language and means “easy death.” I know the Bible doesn’t use the word, and I can’t say it even existed in Judas day, but if he had thought about it, his death was far from “easy.” “Euthanasia” has come to mean: “The deliberate putting to a painless death a person suffering from an incurable disease.” It has been given the nick-name of “Mercy killing.” And it now is being applied to unwanted babies. One by one, the laws against suicide and euthanasia – the killing of unwanted human beings – are falling. Our society thinks that it is above God, and His laws, will and control. And by the time today’s new-born gets to be eighty all the laws against euthanasia will have been erased. But euthanasia is still murder – despite the new name and edited definitions. And God has said in unmistakable terms, “Thou shalt not kill” – you will not unlawfully take a human life. Someone has written – “By all human laws, as well as divine, self-murder is truly the greatest of crimes.”

But some fool may say that Judas showed great courage in taking his life. Everyone knows that courage is a very honorable thing – and so suicide must be honorable. But in reality, suicide is the highest of cowardice, and cowardice will never be honorable. Judas may have been saying, “I am afraid to face the problems that I’ve created.” Others say, “I’m too weak to endure my pain,” or “I’m too stupid govern my own life.” Judas may have realized that he was Satanically possessed and thought this was his only escape. Suicide is often the highest act, or the last act, of human selfishness. Selfishness is not honorable, it is a filthy, soul-damning sin. Selfishness is at the heart of sin – is almost a synonym for sin. Suicide is not an honorable thing to do.

But then someone argues – “What about Samson who honorably took his own life in the Temple of Dagon?” I don’t not look at the death of Samson as a suicide – he died as a soldier of the Lord. He charged into battle knowing that he would likely die, but he left that in God’s hands. Death was not certainty, and he had a work to do upon the enemy of Israel in the mean time.

Getting back to Judas – one can only wonder what would have happened if he had returned to the disciples. If after confessing his sin to God, and then to the priests, and then to the disciples, what might have his life become? He may have had a testimony unparalleled to any of the others. The life of Saul of Tarsus was not too dissimilar to that of Judas. He too was a murderer – a hater of Christ – an enemy of God. But he was given repentance and faith, which were followed by humility before the saints of God. Sure he was despised by some – by many for a time – but eventually the Lord mightily used him. I know that there are prophecies involved, but humanly speaking who is to say that the same might not have occurred with Judas?

Someone might say that Judas deserved to die, and we can’t argue otherwise, because we believe in capital punishment, but Judas’ suicide was not praise-worthy.

A second lie of Satan in regard to suicide is: “It’s my life to do with as I please.

This is the language of the atheist – of the humanist. A humanist, by way, basically says, that each man, or man collectively, is his own god. To say, “This is MY life, and I can end it anyway I choose,” is to totally leave out Jehovah, the Creator. And that is where Satan wants everyone to be – atheists – practical or theoretical it matters not. Remember —the fool hath said in his heart, “there is no God – at least for me.” Wasn’t that the case with Judas at this moment?

Psalm 127:3 says, “Lo, children are a heritage of the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is His reward.” That verse says that life is a gift that only God can give. As such, life is a gift which only He has a right to withdraw. Acts 17:25 – The Lord is not worshiped “with men’s hands, as though he needed any thing, seeing he giveth to all life, and breath, and all things.” Colossians 1:16 “For all things were created by him, and for him.” Not only is life God’s to give, but it should be used for his glory. And finally, Ecclesiastes 12:13 – “Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter; Fear God and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.”

Comparing these scriptures, and adding a hundred others to them, life is the gift of God, ordained of the Lord to be spent for His glory. Your life is not yours to do with as you please, even though that is exactly what 99% of humanity does. Someone has said that God has appointed you as captain of the fort of your life. To surrender that fort before the Lord calls for it is the highest of treason. Romans 14:7-8 – “None of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself. For whether we live, we live unto the Lord, and whether we die, we die unto the Lord, whether we live therefore, or die, we are the Lord’s.” Paul may have been writing those words to Christians, and they certainly apply doubly to us, but they apply to all the creatures of God’s hand.

There is a corollary in the mathematics that we just finished. Your life was given to your parents as a gift of the Lord to them. And then we can add that some of you have given your lives to husbands or wives. We might even slip in there that you gave your life to a boss and to certain friends. Almost no life can be spent without intersecting it with dozens if not hundreds of others. “None of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself.” There is never any death that does not leave holes in the lives of other people. There is sense in which our lives are a trust given to us for use by others. Generally speaking, suicide is an incredibly selfish thing to do.

Another Satanic suicidal lie is that I have a right to hurt those who have hurt me.

Again I can’t tell you what was in Judas’ mind, but was he thinking this sort of thought? But no one has a right to hurt anyone else, no matter how much they have been hurt. The clear command of Lord is to “love our enemies, bless them that curse us, do good to them that hate us and pray for them that despitefully use and persecute us.” Was Judas used by the priests? He certainly was, but that was no excuse to try to hurt them. “See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves and to all men.”

Many suicides are designed to torment people who still wish to live, but no man has a right to do that. “Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord, I will repay.” And beside, I doubt that a single man in the Jewish counsel lost a moment’s sleep over Judas’ suicide.

A forth Satanic lie is that no one really cares whether you live or die.

There are several people in the Bible who thought or spoke in language like that. We saw one last Wednesday in Elijah as he fled to Sinai, hoping that God would slay him before Jezebel. Did anyone care whether Judas lived or died after his betrayal of the Saviour? Knowing Peter and having looked at the spots on the garments of Apostle John, I’d guess that they were hoping that lightning fall from heaven upon Judas. I may be totally wrong, and I hope I am, but I’d say the disciples didn’t care whether Judas died. But let me ask you from where his conviction of sin come? Was his conviction of betraying innocent Blood – Heaven-sent or was it totally self-devised? My understanding of the scripture is that genuine conviction can only come through the Holy Spirit. If the Holy Spirit was convicting him enough for him to admit his sin, then I must conclude that the Lord still cared whether Judas lived or died. But of course, I am speaking hypothetically. If a worthless sparrow cannot fall to the ground without the notice of our Heavenly Father… If the Lord says, “I have no pleasure in the death of him that dieth…” If He says, “Come unto me all ye that labour and are heavily laden…” Then I must conclude that God cares whether any one us live or die. I know that the situation is much more complicated than that, but generally speaking God cares.

Someone has said that the cause of suicide is triangular. At the three corners are loneliness, inactivity and self-pity. If any one of these three things is taken away, the desire for suicide will crumble. In other words, if Christians went out of way to love the unlovely, we might save a few lives – even Judas. If we took notice of the lonely in this world… If we made people feel that they are important to us, even if no one else agrees. Then we might be able improve this crumby world and perhaps lead a few Judases to the Saviour. What if James or Andrew had sought out Judas after the betrayal? What if they plead for his repentance and showed that they cared for his soul? What if they prayed together and James convinced Judas that if he confess his sin “the Lord is faithful and just to forgive him his sin and to cleanse him of all unrighteousness?” Could the suicide of Judas have been prevented? Could Judas have been restored – as Peter was after his betrayal of the Lord? Yes, I know that Jesus had already declared Judas’ lost condition. And I am aware of the prophecies involved, but again I am speaking hypothetically, and trying to make applications towards other potential suicides.

Another lie which suicide whispers is that we have an obligation to end suffering.

Was Judas in pain? It appears to me that he was. But pain and suffering make up an highly complex equation. Part of the problem with pain and suffering is that no two instances are exactly the same. And just as our pain may feel different, so are the reasons that we have it in the first place. Sometimes we can surmise a reason – as in Judas’ case, but some other times we can’t. Job certainly didn’t know the cause of his problems until he had endured them for some time. And speaking of Job, how many people in a similar situation today, would have considered suicide? But in his case it doesn’t appear that the thought ever crossed his mind.

In John 9 the disciples asked Christ about a poor man who had been born blind. The man had no conceivable future – perhaps the same way that Judas looked at his life. But in the case of the blind man, there was no sin which ended his life. He was a sufferer so that God could display His power and His grace. What if at the age of eighteen he had killed himself? Then the miracle of John 9 wouldn’t have occurred. Of course, I believe in the sovereignty of God – the Lord’s omnipotent control of all things. These are “what if” questions which we can apply to other people down the road.

Had Judas ever heard Christ speak of “the God of all comfort”? Of course he had not read II Corinthians, but he didn’t give himself that opportunity. “Blessed be God, even Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort.” Could not the God who comforted Saul of Tarsus, also have comforted Judas in his pain?

Suicide was not the answer to Judas’ pain.

Just about every God-denying sinner – whether that denial is permanent or temporary – thinks that death will end his pain, silence his conscience, solve all of his problems. While death might be an end of some things, it is definitely not a final conclusion. One man named “Lazarus” died and three days later re-emerged from his tomb as though he had just passed through a tunnel – unfortunately or fortunately for him his tunnel was u-shaped. Another “Lazarus” passed through his tunnel into Abraham’s bosom. Death is only a means of transition or translation from one language to another. It might be into the language of the blessed or the language of the damned. And, sad to say, for the vast majority of humanity, it is the latter.

That is certainly the case with Judas. His self-inflicted death did not give him respite, peace or deliverance from his suffering. Just like the rich man described in Luke 16, “in hell he lift up his eyes, being in torments.” Judas’ death did nothing to remedy his guilt or the feeling of his guilt.

Suicide fixes nothing – except in the sense that it fixes or sets a person’s eternal condition. It certainly doesn’t repair or correct the mistakes and sins of that person. The death of Judas couldn’t undo the betrayal and the death of Christ Jesus. When someone dies in his sins, there is no room or opportunity for repentance and deliverance. There is no second chance in Hell; no opportunity for salvation. There is no purgatory, no universal salvation, no end of the eternity which the Bible describes. “Then shall (Christ) say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels.”

Judas had committed a horrendous sin in his participation of the death of Christ. But Jesus’ death was in fact a sacrifice – a sacrifice made for sinners just as evil as Judas. If any other suicide had given himself the opportunity, there might have been an evangelist, a tract, an invitation to a gospel-preaching church to tell him about the sacrificial death of Christ. We know that Judas’ situation was unique, but who is to say that later the Lord would have granted repentance and faith to that suicide. The Lord can save any kind of sinner – murderers, atheists, homosexuals, and even betrayers. Even sinners like you. Repent before God. Instead of despising and rejecting Christ, turn to Him, cling to Him, trust Him to deliver you. “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved.”