I come from a very small family; I am the only son of an only son. And I have one sister, just as my father had only one sister. Most of you have far more uncles, aunts and cousins than I have of every kind of relative. I am not complaining – that is just the way things are.
Some of you might remember meeting my sister years ago. That lady is a bit different than most, and the truth is – she always has been – at least in my opinion. She and I have not seen eye-to-eye on very many things down through our six decades. And that is in spite of the fact that only thirteen months separate our ages. But she is my sister. Because of her acknowledged eccentricities for a long time she was blacklisted by some our few cousins. But she is my sister. She and I have had our disputes, yea, even a few fights early in our lives – but she is my sister. Despite her false, hell-sent religion, she is welcome in my home – she is my sister.
And my parents? When they were still alive, they were not paragons of parenthood. I gained my prodigious skills in that area from them . Their sins were numerous – their failings were far from concealed. But they were my parents. I will go into eternity remembering things that they sacrificed for my sister and me. We were and in some ways are still a family, despite their long absence.
The Bible describes a church in several different ways – one is as a local body of Christ. That body is made up of many differing parts; few of them have the same office. There are hands, feet, eyes, toughened skin, tender hearts and so on. And as a body, each of us, who are members of this church contribute to the whole. When one finger suffers, if you are a proper member of the body, I trust that you feel some of the pain. In bodies each part is related to every other part.
In Romans 12 Paul hints at a different relationship within the church in Rome – it was a family. I know that there is a difference between the family of God and the church of God. Theologically, the family of God includes all those who are born again. The church of God however is a local assembly, a relatively small number in comparison to the family. There is a difference between the family of God and the church of the Lord Jesus Christ. But in order to illustrate Paul’s message let’s think of this church, our church, as a kind of family.
There is a Greek word found twice in this chapter and elsewhere in the Bible about seventy-five times. “Allelon” (al-lay’-lone) is usually translated “one another.” It takes on a powerful image when set in the light of a family.
Let’s think about our church as a family.
A family, unlike other illustrations, is something that most of us can understand. I remember in High School when we were studying anatomy. We cut up different animals, uncovering and discovering their various organs. But the body in that case was cold, dead and often strangely smelly. Before that I had a model of a human body, with plastic skin and colorful inwards. It was called something like “The Visible Man.” Maybe you had one of those. I could take that body apart and put it back together blindfolded. But once again it was a lifeless thing – a mere toy. When Paul refers to the church as a body, special relationships come to play. But even more special relationships arise in a family – between brothers and sisters. And there is an added dimension of warmth, tenderness, concern and loyalty. “Family” provokes thoughts of emotion and devotion which don’t arise when thinking about a body.
Consider Paul’s exhortation in verse 10?
“Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love, in honour preferring one another.” The term “brotherly love” refers to the kind of love which should exist between sibblings. Applied to a church, it refers to the love the Christian members should have for each other.
The term “brothers” (“adelphos”) is used two hundred thirty times in the New Testament. And literally the word means “from the same womb.” It is as close to a family word as any can be and shouldn’t be applied to members of the same union or club. You, you and I are related to each other by a common heritage, a common Father. We have the same elder brother, the Lord Jesus. “According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love: Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will, To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.” I was talking to a friend the other day, who said that he asked some of his nephews to join him in helping a Christian friend who needed some heavy lifting. The job was done in minutes, and as he was leaving his friend expressed sincere gratitude. At that point, my friend was struck by the fact that he was more closely related to his Christian brother, than he was to his nephews and their parents. That was the sort of thing to which Paul referred.
When he says “be kindly affectioned” he means, “show loving affection.” “Be devoted to each other” – “love one another tenderly as Christian brothers and sisters.” His point is clear – Christians are to be just as devoted to each other as are the individual members of a close-knit family. We ARE a unique family unit. We are blood brothers, for in Christ we have redemption through His blood. Do you remember Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn. These two fictional characters signed a pact with their own blood, committing themselves to each other. Blood brothers would do anything for one another – even die for one another.
When a sinner is born again and is brought into the family of one of the Lord’s churches, he enters as a baby. We might expect him be shy, reclusive and even self-centered, because that is the way babies behave. But brethren, you who claim to be mature, are commanded by Apostle to be loving people. And who can keep himself from loving a baby?
That is the simple principle, now what about the PRACTICAL APPLICATION?
Showing affection and love toward other Christians, treating them like brothers and sister does not happen automatically. The truth of the matter is that newborn babies are much cuter than newly born again Christians. And even though some remain spiritual babes a long time, the rest of us can wonder why there is no growth. Those once cute Christian kids aren’t cute any longer. If Christian love was automatic, we wouldn’t need so many exhortations like this one.
Evaluate the emotions that you have toward the members of God’s family in this house. Are they loving, filial emotions? Romans 12 sheds light on this kind affection and brotherly love in verse 15. “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.” What are rejoicing and sorrow? They are deep feelings; they are deep emotions. They are below the surface – the sur-face – the face. Sometimes we may have logical arguments against rejoicing or grieving with our Christian brother. But Paul is not talking about logic; he is speaking of emotions. There are no scriptures, that I can recall, which say we should love only those who have never hurt us, never sinned, and have promised never to wound us again.
I Thessalonians 4:9-10 – “But as touching brotherly love ye need not that I write unto you: for ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another. And indeed ye do it toward all the brethren which are in all Macedonia: but we beseech you, brethren, that ye increase more and more.” Is there a condition applied to this scripture? Are we exhorted to increase in our love more and more only when the object of that love is worthy of it? The responsibility is on us to love others despite their sins and character flaws.
Hebrews 13:1-3 – “Let brotherly love continue. Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. Remember them that are in bonds, as bound with them; and them which suffer adversity, as being yourselves also in the body.” We are commanded to be particularly loving and helpful to those who are in bonds. Okay, today our chains may not be in religious prisons, but aren’t there other kinds of chains? How about the prison of a bad marriage? Others are in the bonds of disgusting habits and even sins. Do we have authority to wait until their bonds are broken before we love them? I Peter 1:22 exhorts us to love without any falseness – with a pure heart. “Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently: Being born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, by the word of God, which liveth and abideth for ever.”
I Peter 3:8-9 ties together a number of duties under the umbrella of brotherly love. “Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.” Compassion is a translation of the Greek word is “sumpathes” (soom-path-ace). Pity and courteousness are next. Not a cold and mechanical courteousness, but genuine unfeined brotherly kindness. Note that this scripture of blessings upon those who have railed or been evil toward us. Once in while I hear people say, “So-and-so did me wrong.” I will not deny that wrong is what they did. But quite often your reaction was just as sinful as his. We are commanded to love the brethren just as God loves us despite our wickedness. Would more folk would confess their sins against us, if we expressed love and forgiveness toward them?
Let’s picture a family – any family – your family. Can you say that there have NEVER BEEN any fights between the children? NEVER? Have there never been hurt feelings, there has been residual anger, there has been envy? Usually over time those emotions have been overcome, because you are a family. A church, too, is a family, but it is surprising the way hurt and frustration are allowed to fester unchecked – sometimes for decades. Why in one situation is the problem corrected, but not in a church?
Paul is telling us to learn to EXPRESS our brotherly affection. When did you last deliberately display your affection to someone outside your usual church clique? How often do you quietly listen – intently listen to the problems of your sister – without interruption? When have you said to someone, “I appreciate you,” “I love you in Christ Jesus?” When have you asked if there were things that you can pray for in your brother’s life?
What all this boils down to is the consideration of others more than ourselves. If our primary concern is our own feelings, then it gives evidence of our living in the flesh rather than the spirit. The fruit of the Spirit is expressed outwardly as well as inwardly. Paul commanded us all, “in honour prefer one another.” Exercise your heart by putting on the top of your prayers the one who you’d like to dislike most. Ask God for the ability to love him or her, and then exercise what you have.
These are not options. These are essential to Christian maturity. You, not your neighbor, you are the weak saint, if you can’t love that neighbor.