If I was a 5′ 1″ basketball player, I would have to be 9 times better than the man 2 feet taller than me. I would have to be faster; I would have to handle the ball better, and I would have to be able to shoot baskets from center court. Being vertically challenged is a definite problem in basketball.
Like that short basketball player, the Apostle Paul had similar sorts of problems. He was constantly having to vindicate his apostleship – “Hey, I really am an apostle of the Lord!” Paul was unlike any of the other apostles – in a sense he was shorter than everyone else. He was an apostle primarily to the Gentiles, while the others went primarily to the Jews. And he didn’t ask the Gentiles to conform to the opinions and traditions of those Jews. He was the last man to become one of the apostles – “born out of due season.” And it wasn’t according to the “official rules” – He had not been baptized by John. He didn’t serve and learn at Jesus feet the way Peter and John did. His ministry was perhaps more spectacularly blessed, which might have made some of those apostles just a little uncomfortable. And prior to becoming an apostle he persecuted the church of the Lord Jesus Christ. Paul had some definite challenges facing him in his calling.
Here in First Corinthians 15 Paul was once again about to declare his apostleship. But he opens his mouth and gets halfway through and then stops. “For I am the least of the apostles, and am not meet to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God, I am what I am: and this grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; But I labored more abundantly then they all: yet not I but the grace of God which was with me.” I am what I am, and you know what I am. “Truly the signs of an apostle were wrought among you in all patience, in signs, and wonders, and mighty deeds.” – II Corinthians 12:12. The proof of Paul’s apostleship was clearly seen among the people of Corinth.
This little hesitation in the text is instructive: It gives us grounds for some good self-examination.
Who made to what you are?
Perhaps first we need to ask: What are you? Really? From time to time we need to strip away what we think we are. Rarely do we look at ourselves away others see us or as we really are. I think of myself as better looking than a really am. And I know people who think of themselves as unattractive, when in fact the opposite it true. Even more rarely do we look at ourselves the way God sees us. We need to throw aside the masks that we wear. “What is your life? It is even as a vapor that appeareth for a little time and then vanisheth away.”
What are you outwardly? Are you a good parent; are you good child, or are you a brat and a rebel? Are you good provider? Are you able worker, or lazy; Are you a clown or are you a bigot? Are you a lover of money; a lover of pleasure; a lover of God? Or are you more noted for your hatred than your love? And what are you inwardly? Either you are a child of God or a child of Satan. Either you are dead in trespasses and sins or quickened and raised up in Christ Jesus. Either you are a servant of the Lord Jesus Christ or you are a servant of self and sin. Paul said, “I am an apostle.”
The bartender, that man manufacturing drugs, the people operating the gambling casino… Do you think for a moment that the Lord made these people to be who they are. No sir, “God is not tempted with evil either tempteth He any man.” The poisons which others are pouring into their bodies come are Satan’s creations. I have heard of people who claim to be homosexual ministers of Christ. God didn’t make them either ministers of Christ or homosexuals. They are self-made and self-proclaimed in both areas. It is not unlike my choice to wear glasses. God permitted in me a weakness in my eyes, but I chose to do something about that. I made a choice not to go around bumping to things; I chose to wear glasses. Despite what people say, homosexuality is a choice. When a sinner is saved he is saved unto holiness. When a Christian is called into the ministry, he is called into a ministry of holiness. Homosexuality is condemned in the Bible as unholiness. Pornographers are not what they are by the grace of God. Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Nero, and Mao tse Tung were not what they were because of the grace of God. But Paul said, “I am what I am by the grace of Almighty God.”
So who made you what you are? Your parents, of course, had a huge influence on your life, and so did your education. “He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: the companion of fools shall be destroyed.” Just as the food we eat becomes a part of who we are: The kind of music that a person listens becomes a part of who he is. And the kind of books that we read influence our character and our life. In a sense we come back to the fact we make choices; we can control to some degree who and what we are – but all within the limits the Sovereign God makes on our behalf. Yes, you are a sinner and come short of the glory of God. And it’s by the grace of God that you are even aware of such a thing. There will not be one sinner in hell will not say I don’t deserve to be here. Thus hell is very unlike prison where so many claim innocence or blaming others. Overriding or undergirding those choices that we make is the grace of God. Who made you what you are?