I really hesitated about addressing this verse tonight. Some of you have waded through deep snow , driving on ice, to meet here. Some will be getting home quite late and yet you still come. If this devotion is all you come away with, you might think the blessing hasn’t been worth the struggle. I don’t want anyone to feel that their time with us has been spent in vain. “The message tonight had nothing to do with me.” I heard a wise man say the other day that the preacher should always consider his audience. Do those here tonight need this message? Only the Lord knows for sure. But using the internet, I never really know who our audience might be. Whether in person or through some other means, these are reasons to pour our hearts into the musical worship part of the service. I hope you come with a desire to seek the face of God with other believers.

To avoid this verse, I could have used the excuse that we’ve looked that this theme already. Proverbs 13:24 – “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.” But I can’t remember how much time I actually spent on that thought. And then as I meditated on this well-known verse here in chapter 19, it fell apart into four parts. It easily developed into an outline for study. Above it all, I feel that it’s the Lord’s will for us tonight, and we may skip over some of the related verses which come up later in this book. “Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.”

What does the word “chasten” mean to you?

What does the Lord intend with that word? Strong explains the Hebrew – “To chastize either literally with blows or figuratively with words – hence to instruct.” The word is translated “chastise” 21 times, but then “instruct” 8, “correct” 7 and “teach” 17 times. Only once is the word rendered “punish.” In other words, Solomon is intending that we chasten with the purpose of teaching proper behavior. Yes, there is a place for punishment, but the true purpose of discipline is not injury or pain. If the lesson can be taught without physical pain, then that would be best – ideal.

The thing Christian parents need to keep in mind is that they are children themselves. And as the Lord said in Revelation 3 “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.” Do any of us want the Lord to inflict on us pain? Do we have to endure injury, even if slight, before we hear the lessons the Lord wants us to learn? As Paul said in Hebrews “Whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth…” But he also added “and (the Lord) scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.” How often is that metaphorical scourging necessary before we learn God’s lessons? How often is a physical spanking necessary before we can get through to our children?

Chastening involves a correct purpose. It is not to hear our children cry, but to hear that our children have learned and perhaps repented. Our purpose as parents should be the same as that of our Heavenly Father. As we discipline our children, never, never forget our position under the Lord.

What does the word “hope” suggest?

We all know from experience that things which we frequently do can become habits. And habits tend to solidify. Athletes might call it “muscle memory” – our brains and our souls have memories too. Many of us have had bad practices which eventually calcified into almost unbreakable habits. Thankfully, we “can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth” us, and even the unbreakable habits can be broken through the blessing of the Lord. But that kind of victory can be a painful, difficult ordeal. How much better to put a stop to the bad activity before it becomes a habit? “Chasten thy son ( or thyself) while there is hope.”

In my meditation on this verse, I jotted down a pair of contradictory thoughts in regard to this “hope.” You have often heard me say, “As long as there is life, there is hope.” As long as that child is alive, there is the opportunity for repentance and salvation. Never give up praying for his conversion. But on the other hand, doesn’t Solomon suggest here – this hope will eventually come to an end? “Chasten thy son WHILE there is hope.” How many Christians do we know who started smoking in their youth and have not been able to quit? I have counseled Christians who became so calcified in pornography that it appeared that only death could deliver them. Is there a point when certain habits and sins become hopeless – at least in the flesh?

When that child begins to blaspheme or use vulgar language “chasten thy son while there is hope.” If he decides to defy your authority or other proper authority “chasten thy son while there is hope.” If this rebellion isn’t nipped in the bud, it may produce fruit which ends in prison. When that child begins to lust for unnecessary toys or technology deny him; teach him while there is hope. Parents should have sufficient wisdom to know what is best for that supple child before the calcification begins and eventually there is no hope.

Ignore his “crying.”

“Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.” The four words of my outline are easy to understand, but sometimes we need to look beyond our first impression. When a small child is spanked there will be tears; we must expect them and even look for them. But there comes a time when the will of that child becomes hard enough to resist the response the parent is looking for. That child is reaching the “beyond hope” point in his life, when he no longer cries when chastened.

“Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.” I confess to being astonished when I studied the word “crying;” it was much more than what I expected. And then I had to laugh, because the picture is so vivid. The Hebrew word translated “crying” is also found in verse 16 where it is translated very differently. “He that keepeth the commandment keepeth his own soul; but he that despiseth his ways shall die.” The Hebrew word is translated “die” 424 times and “cry” only once as far as I could see. How many times has a child cried when spanked, claiming that he was going to die? “Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his DYING.” At this point Proverbs 23:13 certainly comes into play – “Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die” – despite what that child might think. And there is more than one way to interpret that “dying.”

“While there is hope” that child may cry because his skin stings – something which should be expected. He may also shed real tears because his soul hurts at disappointing his parents. He might cry because he doesn’t understand why his parents are upset. We should never leave a disciplinary session until that child knows why he is being corrected. And hopefully there should be a coordinated whiping away of those tears, because restoration and reconciliation have been achieved.

Most of us, when we first read this verse tonight, we pictured tears when we came to “crying.” But remember that the English word has at least one other meaning “to plead.” In the midst of our discipline that child may be pleading his case. The parent needs to know why he is chastening his son and stick to his position despite the pleas.

The last word to consider involves the parent – “thy soul.”

“Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.” Let’s say that your son has done something which clearly calls for discipline. It is time for a spanking. Some people spank with the hand, while others recommend some sort of implement. My mother sometimes use her wooden yard stick. It rendered a pretty good slap with or without my bare legs exposed. But whether with hand or willow switch, that chastening involved her hand. And of course there must have been the breaking of some rule on my part, so she must have thought about it, engaging her mind in the discipline. But there were also her emotions – her “soul,” if you will. Discipline is done with the soul as much as it is the hand.

Yes, you are angry that your son has committed that trespass once again. But you must contain your anger – don’t loose it. And when he starts to cry and plead, your emotions may swing to the other extreme. “Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.” Your soul may foolishly lobby for showing pity on the poor child. After all he’s done this particular thing eighteen times – maybe he can’t help it. But that is just the point. This bad practice needs to be broken – now. “Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.” This on-going problem is all the more reason to stick to your guns – spare not for his crying.

Throughout this process, remember that you have the Lord’s commandment and exhortation. I don’t mean, the commandment which your child has broken. I mean the exhortation which YOU have received from the Lord – to chasten. If you are faithful and consistent, the blessing of the Lord will be there as well. “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him”with the Lord’s blessings.